Thoughts # Head of Household

I’ve been questioning some of the things I think. Topics which are usually taken for granted but are actually not. I’m an Indian. And while this immediately causes some people to generalise me as a Male Chauvinist interested in only Bobs and Vagene. I can’t help but wonder why is this the image of Indian men in particular.

But I digress.

I was thinking about various topics the first of which started from a seemingly simple question I read on a pseudo-personality test: “Do you think men should be the heads of household?”

The answers were an MCQ in Yes or No. So I started wondering what the actual answer to this question was. What exactly is a “Head of the Household”? As one of the 21st Century Internet-addicted guy I took to Google to search the definition of this term and what I came across was this:

Vocabulary.com defined it as “a person who is in charge. The Patriarch or Matriach”

Yourdictionary.com defined it as “the person responsible for governing a group that lives together such as a family”

The question the arose here was what makes a Head a Head? (I’m not ashamed to admit the repetition made me laugh)

In my family, as the sole bread earner I suppose my father is the head of the household. He is also the eldest age-wise making him the most experienced person. But any household decisions are made by my mother. So doesn’t that make her the Head?

And why does a household truly need a head? Parents as a unit are responsible for raising their kids so that can’t be the reason. Any important decisions are usually a joint decision so that can’t be it either. I suppose from a legal point of view I can see the necessity but from a social viewpoint the need escapes me.

Maybe it’s just because I’m not old or experienced enough to realise the need or requirement. Perhaps age shall grant me wisdom as to who and why the Head should be. Or perhaps its just one of those social nuances that I managed to ignore learning in my absent mindedness.

Either way I think the answer to the question was simpler and yet more complicated than a yes or no. The head of the household should be anyone who is competent enough to fit the role.

Thoughts # Faces of Social Structure

Yeah.. I know I know.. I was supposed to be back more than a month ago. But I was just too lazy and too busy catching up with my backlog of Sitcoms and Movies. Go ahead curse me all you want. But HEY! I am back now ain’t I?

Today’s topic is something I wrote even before my exams but I didn’t post it for some reason or the other.. Or Maybe I did and this is gonna be a duplicate in which case I will give you a new post (or a poem I wrote) by tomorrow!

People often tend to question me as to why I watch so many Sitcoms, why do I read books, why don’t I study, why don’t I work, why am I single, why am I not earning… etc etc… The thing I have come to realize is that Society is no longer a mechanism where you share things. Its become more of a moral police or rather religious and custom police.

People do not question the marriage of a 18 year old who has just graduated and barely started standing on her own two feet. But they do question why people are shouting in their neighbors house. Marriages have become more about showing off your accumulated wealth than sharing a joyous moment. Money is more important than relations and a successful career more important than a satisfying one.

People dream of buying Audi-s and BMW-s, not even understanding why one is better than the other simply because they see so many of those being driven around the city. To some the 35 Lacs or so that a car costs is worth 10years salary that they have painstakenly saved and are going to gift their future son-in-law, despite the fact that they didn’t ask for it because SOCIETY demands it. To others 80 Lacs is chump change they would willingly spend again next month to get the newer model released by the same company because their son asked for it.

People have stopped loving themselves and started loving their status in the society. The fact that some cousin’s wife’s uncle might be insulted probably rates higher than the fact that you can’t afford to provide Alcohol in your party. Despite this fact, if you were to ask this uncle for some help or perhaps to host the part himself he would probably go running to the hills claiming terminal diseases and lack of time.

Money has become the chief motivator. How well you are liked among your own relatives, people you grew up with is dependent more on the fact whether you are doing better or worse than them and how much money you have saved up than how well you got along when you were kids or even adults. A brother is willing to stab his own parents and siblings in the back to not give back the money they asked him to keep safe. A sister is willing to see her blood family go hungry so that her husband and in-laws can buy a better flat than the one they currently have. Own uncles and aunts are willing to file false reports against their nephews and nieces because they refused to comply to their demands.

And while this may not be a common scene at every home. Everyone has still seen it somewhere and at some point of their lives.

All this is because love has become a secondary emotion to be used only when situation is dire and you are in desperate need of family who’d rather close their eyes to help you out than see that the very people they are helping will be the first to turn on them when the situation is reversed.

I may be right. I may be wrong. Every person faces different obstacles in their lives which influence them and build them into who they are when they die.

Some may call me a Pessimist. Some Cynical. Some Realists. And others even moronic. Fact remains. I am all of them and none of them.